I feel numb. I feel as if each passing day is no better or worse than the last. I feel more comfortable being alone in my room than out with friends. I feel that the friends that I do have don’t make time for me, and since I cannot fit their schedule that I am obsolete.
Oddly enough, though I am numb, I am okay with this.
I never thought that I would be okay with being numb.
I think that because i’ve spent my whole life planning my death, that I no longer know how to live.
I will always feel like I am worthless.
I will never feel like my best will be good enough.
I sit and wonder what I did wrong, what I could have done better.
Any confidence that I had is now completely gone.
I have no motivation.
I feel like my reason to live is now gone.
I have put my walls back up.
I may never be able to love again.
I am broken.
I hope you get what you want out of life. I hope that being without me is bringing out the happiness you’d hoped. I am writing you this letter because I need to move on. You dated another girl instead of coming back to me. She screwed you over, and I don’t even feel bad. Now you know how I feel….
I just sit and wonder what my life would be like now if I never met you.